Wedding Invitation Card by Tamburix
Spring and Summer are the seasons for weddings. Know what to do (and what not) for your next special event.
As we all know, weddings are beautiful occasions that can sometimes be the source of great anxiety. Not only do we know of the usual stress brides, grooms, and their families go through, but being a guest can have its moments also. In all honesty, being invited to a wedding is an honor. You must be a person that is held in high regard. I like to think that being invited to a wedding is a privilege. With that in mind, the day is meant to celebrate the bride and groom. First, foremost, and only. Here are a few tips to help the day be as stress-free and beautiful as ever.
1. Invitations. Reply as quickly as possible. The bride and groom already have a laundry list of things to do. They do not need to be worried about getting your late RSVP. If there is a problem or conflict that you are waiting to settle, let them know as soon as possible. They will appreciate your concern.
2. …and Guest? It is standard etiquette that only married or engaged couples are invited together. If the bride or groom is a close family relative that has known your significant other, there may be an exception. But if the invitation states your name only, do not presume or ask if your significant other is invited. If you and your immediate relatives are invited as a family, that is what it means.
If you honestly feel that you need clarification or you think there was a mistake, proceed with caution. Asking may only be employed if you feel close enough to the couple to not sound rude or disrespectful. You may ask if the invitation assumes “and Guest,” explaining that you need simple clarification and do not have any problem attending without your SO. Whatever the response, be happy with it.
3. What do I wear? The invitation itself and the venue should be clues as to what to wear. If it is a formal invitation, long dresses, cocktail dresses, and suits or tuxedos are appropriate. If it is a beach, outside, or afternoon wedding, you may go for light, spring dresses, suits, or sportcoats. You should never dress below business casual unless it is explicitly stated. The ultimate goal is to be comfortable yet appropriate. That means if you know it will be on a beach, don’t wear stilettos or suede shoes. Be smart.
4. Arrival. Weddings are not the time to be fashionably late to either the ceremony or the reception. It does not send a very good message if you show up halfway through without a proper explanation. If you are late to the ceremony, it is wise to stay in the back of the venue. If the bride did not enter yet, stay outside the entrance until she does. If you are late to the reception, your first stop should be the bride and groom. Then you may socialize.
5. Where do I sit? First, check to see if there are seating cards. You most likely have been seated with people that the couple thought you might enjoy talking to. It is rude to sit at a table and not socialize with others seated around you, so introduce yourself. It is not courteous to complain about your seat, so if you do have a problem, you may fix it later on during the reception. People usually get up and float around as the event goes on. If there are no seating cards, you may take a seat with people you already know, family members, or those of your age group.
6. It’s a buffet! Table service takes the guesswork out of what and how much to eat. However, if there is a buffet, do not be alarmed. Just remember one simple rule: It is not an all-you-can-eat. Be generous to those around you and nibble as you go. If alcohol is available, control your intake. No one wants to remember you as the person who got blasted at so-and-so’s wedding.
7. Dance, dance, dance. The first couple of dances may be for the bride and groom and the wedding parties. Take the cue from those around you to know when to dance. Do not feel bad if you are not a dancer. You do not have to. There are most likely others who are not dancing and you can socialize with them. If you do make it to the dance floor, remind yourself that it is not a club. You can save the grinding and other innuendos for the after-party if there is one.
8. What about the gift? Gifts do not have to be a problem. In some cultures, a money envelope given to the bride and groom at the reception is standard. If there was a registry and you bought an actual gift, take care to send it before or soon after the wedding. A simple card explaining when it will arrive afterwards is suitable to give at the reception.
How much to spend depends on the relationship you have with the couple, financial situation (both yours and theirs), and type of event. A myth that many people believe is that you have to spend a fortune on a wedding present. I say, if you have any doubts, give enough that can cover your seat. Add more if you are especially close, take away less if you aren’t. No one expects you to pay their receipts.
9. When should I leave? Receptions are usually four hours long. However, gauge your timing by when the cake will be cut. That should be the earliest you could leave. But do not close the house either. The bride and groom, and their families, should not have to leave before you. Unless the couple is being sent off earlier for their honeymoon. Then, gauge your timing by their families.
10. Have a good time. When in doubt, enjoy yourself and always think of the couple first. Do not do anything you wouldn’t want for your own wedding, and you should have a great time.
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